After Something Distressing

On Edge, or Reliving It

After a frightening or deeply distressing experience, your mind and body can stay in survival mode (jumpy, alert, and haunted by what happened). These are trauma responses, and they have a way forward.

What it can
feel like

When something overwhelming happens, the brain's alarm system can keep firing long after the danger has passed. You might feel like you're constantly braced for something bad, or find the past intruding on the present through memories, dreams or flashbacks. This is your body trying to protect you, not a sign that something is wrong with you.

  • Feeling jumpy or startling easily
  • Constantly scanning for danger, even somewhere safe
  • Nightmares, or memories that intrude during the day
  • Flashbacks, moments where it feels like it's happening again
  • Avoiding places, people or topics that are reminders
  • Feeling numb, detached, or like things aren't quite real
  • Guilt or shame about what happened
  • Snapping at people you care about

Trauma responses are normal responses to abnormal events. You are not broken. Your alarm system is stuck on, and it can be settled.

What can help
right now

None of these are cures. They're steadying practices that help while you find your feet.

01

Ground in the here and now

Use 5-4-3-2-1: five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste. Feel your feet on the floor. Say today's date out loud.

02

Remind yourself: that was then

After a flashback or intrusive memory, try: "That was then. I'm here now, and right now I'm safe." It helps the brain re-file the memory as past.

03

Keep steady anchors

Regular sleep, regular meals and familiar routines all tell a rattled nervous system that life is stable. Boring is healing.

04

Go gently with triggers

It's okay to limit news and graphic content while things are raw. At the same time, watch avoidance quietly growing. Keep taking small, safe steps into life.

05

Slow your breath out

Long, slow exhales (in for four, out for six) settle the alarm from the body's side.

06

Don't carry it silently

You don't have to describe what happened. Even telling one trusted person "I've been struggling since" lightens the load.

When to consider
professional support

Distress after an awful experience is expected, and often eases over the first few weeks with rest and support. It's time to talk to a professional when these reactions last more than a few weeks, are getting worse instead of better, are pushing you towards alcohol or other substances to cope, or are interfering with your daily life.

This is exactly what trauma-specific therapies were built for. Approaches like EMDR and trauma-focused CBT are designed to help stuck memories settle. Learn more on our Understanding Trauma and Types of Therapy pages.

Would you like to
contact help?

There's no pressure either way. Support will still be here whenever you're ready.

Need support right now?

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000. For free, confidential support any time:

Lifeline13 11 1424/7 crisis support
Beyond Blue1300 22 463624/7 mental health support
Suicide Call Back Service1300 659 46724/7 phone & online counselling